If you’re looking for a new hobby and have considered:
A. Excessive & Regular Consumption of Alcohol
B. Smoking (anything habitually)
D. Auditioning for a Role on a Reality TV Show Such as Sister Wives
E. Moving to New York or Hollywood to be an Actor
F. Being a Professional Internet Fangirl
G. Indulging in Shopaholic Tendencies
H. Doing Drugs
. . . well, look no further.
Because as completely unfulfilling and detrimental as all of those may sound, I think, over the course of the last two years, I have discovered one seriously overlooked bad-habit hobby that will cap them all. That’s right, I have found the most expensive and least rewarding hobby of them all; being perpetually (but not terminally) sick.
Don’t scoff. You might think that one of the other habit/hobbies listed has greater potential to go catastrophically long, but I submit that perpetual poor health might just cap them all, due to its complete and utter lack of the immediate gratification factor. Each of the bad-idea hobbies listed above has an admittedly-horrendous typical outcome, but usually with some short term rewards (however un-beneficial they truly might be long term). Being sick is different. Let me explain. As someone who has been consistently sick for the past two years (truth), I feel that I have some experiential insight that may just shed light on my (involuntary) hobby.
Why Perpetual Sickness Tops them All:
1.) There are no short term benefits.
When you’re sick, there is no money, no power, no fame, no warm fuzzies, no good feelings, and no social perks which result. You don’t get any kind of “high” or “buzz” when you’re sick, and there are no cute clothes to show for it. Socially, nobody wants to be around someone who is coughing, sneezing, vomiting, gasping, feverish or in any other way symptomatic. Maybe you’re thinking: Oh come on, that can’t be true, I get attention when I’m sick, and I get taken care of. FALSE. Not when you’re a single adult, you don’t. Maybe you’re thinking “But every once in a while, a sick day is nice!” NOPE. Not when you’re a teacher who loves her job, you don’t. You could even be thinking: “At least you get to sleep, watch TV and eat comfort foods when you’re sick.” Well, I don’t know how you define “sick”, but if you can do all three of those things hunky-dory, I think you’re doing it wrong.
2.) Friendships get Iffy
At first your good friends & loving family are worried about you. . . they send get well cards and come visit, or chat with you on the phone and tell you that they really hope you feel better soon. After the first five different viruses or infections, however, they start to lose interest. I mean, you can hardly blame them. You never attend their parties anymore, you don’t really go out, so there goes that connection. Ultimately, they feel ditched by you, or like you always blow them off. You look like a jerk and all but the best of friends wind up losing touch.
3.) It’s expensive
In the past three days alone, I have spent over $100.00 on prescriptions and doctors visits. I’m thinking about starting to collect prescription bottles, so many of them are floating around my apartment after these almost-two years. Regardless, there have been many many hundreds of dollars spent on treatments and, at the end of the day, I’m still sick.
4.) You get Fat.
Well, actually, your weight might just fluctuate at first, but if it lasts long enough, then you get fat. See, since all your activities become limited by your complete lack of energy, you wind up living an extremely sedentary lifestyle. Which, after a few months, and even more after a few years, causes you to begin to put on the pounds, no matter how little you eat.
5.) You feel (and look) like crap.
This last point may seem a little redundant, but after your fiftieth round of antibiotics and dragging your butt through daily routines (because life doesn’t stop when you’re sick). . . you barely have the energy to put on real clothing, much less try to make something attractive out of your hair and face. So on top of the extra pounds (because there’s no energy to push yourself through a gentle walk, much less a workout!), you wind up looking very slapdash and even haggard. Not exactly something that draws others to you.
See what I meant?
Sure, many things could be worse, but I think as far as time-sinks go, I have inadvertently stumbled upon a lesser known and extremely effective bad habit. Am I wrong?
(For the record, I am being highly sarcastic in this post, and should not be taken too seriously. Any extreme offense given was unintended, and I blame it on the mixture of sudafed, mucinex, z-pack, flonaze, antihistamines, and 90 degree heat!)